Friday, 10 June 2011

Fix This, Sir by Jaime Samms

It's always easier to run and hide than to face your problems. So what happens when you get your legs cut out from under you and running is impossible?

Jimmy's been hiding from his troubled past for a long time—in drugs, drink and dangerous sex. It's always been easy to find oblivion in the restraints of men who don't really care who he is or where he's come from. When tragedy puts him in a wheelchair and forces him to fix his legs—and his life—he's not so sure he has it in him to even try. Belligerence is the only weapon he has left.

Cliff is a physiotherapist with a big heart...and a dominant streak a mile wide. The instant Jimmy Phillips rolls into his clinic, he sees a submissive headed straight for self-destruction and every protective instinct kicks in. Ignoring the dangers of getting intimately involved with a client, Cliff takes Jimmy under his wing and pries under the broken man's guard. Getting behind the anger is a challenge the Dom in him just can't ignore.

What he finds is so much more than he bargained for. Now that he's reopened all of Jimmy's old wounds, he's not so sure he has what it takes to help his new submissive heal. All the control Cliff can muster can't hold Jimmy's crumbling world together, and now Cliff faces not just the loss of a sub, but his own fears that he was never worthy of Jimmy in the first place.

For a lot of the book I was sulky toward Jimmy. That’s right, sulky! From the start he was stroppy—and quite rightly so, considering what he’s been through—but I didn’t want him to be, hence the sulks. I knew Cliff wanted the best for him, but Jimmy didn’t—not that he’d admit it anyway—so his angst rubbed me up the wrong way because he seemed so selfish and purposefully angry toward Cliff. This is NOT a negative. Far from it. I loved feeling this way! If a book can do something like that to me, the author has done his/her job. Of course Jimmy would be like this, I knew that, understood that, and that’s what made him raising my hackles so interesting. It was kind of like a study with myself to see if Ms Samms would be able to make me like him at all. Ever.

Of course, she did. Jimmy slowly started coming around, accepting that Cliff cared about him and not what he could get out of him, and the ice inside Jimmy began to thaw. By the time I was halfway through, I’d had a total turnaround as to how I felt about him, and it’s all down to Ms Samms' skill as an author. This woman is awesome, no doubt about it, and once again she wowed me with her perfect way of showing the badness in someone, the suffering and the torment, and making that character’s world a much better place by the time the book ends. It may not be all roses, may not have everyone dancing into the sunset, but that’s why I like her books. They’re real.

Cliff is an adorable man—as is Jimmy deep down—and he stops at nothing in his mission to heal Jimmy. But at one or two points he doesn’t know whether he’ll be able to manage it—did he take on too much? Was the challenge too big? I was sure it wasn’t, not for Cliff, but for someone like me…I’d have walked away from him long ago. But Cliff plugged on, having more faith in Jimmy than anyone else ever has, and that’s what made all the difference. Someone cared, really cared.

They each have fears, which make them so vulnerable and act in the ways they do as a form of protecting themselves, and Fix This, Sir is an absolutely fascinating tale about two men who you wish would both relax and enjoy life a little bit more despite having terrible issues to deal with. That they eventually do, with each other, is nothing short of heart warming, and I will never forget this story or the people in it.

I loved you in the end, Jimmy! Damn you for worming your way into my heart like that!

“You’re a slut, Jimmy. Do you even have a type?”

“Peter and Adam care about me, I suppose. They toss the love word around, but the truth is, they felt obligated. I had nowhere else to go. Now they’re fed up and an opportunity presented itself to get rid of me.” (Here I was in my not-sure-I-like-Jimmy phase. He was having a pity party, and I could see exactly how he’d feel this way and why, but I wanted to kick his arse into next week, make him see there was so much more ahead of him, that the past wasn’t what should be controlling him. It was, and yes, he needed to face the past before he could move on, and that’s what frustrated him the most—being forced to see what he didn’t want to see. Just after this bit, I started thawing…)

…and his deep, brown eyes went on forever. (Lovely line.)

“I know what you need, Jimmy.” Cliff smiled serenely. “It’s the same thing I need.” (Kleenex alert!)

A heavy sigh bulged up from Cliff’s chest and dumped itself into his tea cup. (This has got to be one of the very best lines I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.)

He smiled, another wide, open expression, a window to some of the best memories Jimmy had. (Another fantastic line!)

Just before he left, he turned, not much more than a silhouette against the bright light of the hallway. (Grand image, here. Really liked it.)

His lashes fluttered, but hardly demurely. “Sir.” The word was a low, throaty purr that went straight to Cliff’s groin. (Here I nearly self-combusted. I won’t spoil it by saying what was going on, but it was one of those times where you literally shout, “No!” with several O’s and panic in case what you think will happen, happens. I didn’t want it to. My heart flopped about a bit here.)

Fix This, Sir is an extremely excellent read that inspires anger, sorrow, pity, love, understanding, and the need to hug every horrible thing that Jimmy has ever suffered away. Well done, Ms Samms, for sending me on a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows, where my emotions were so all over the place I felt like I’d been shoved through a wringer. In a good way. A staggeringly stunning book.

No comments: