What two things does the yeti try to give Josh? Simple, but you'll have to have read the story.
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Diary of the Damned #2
In hopes of eventually publishing a book about his experiences at the Quik-Mart, Josh has decided to start keeping a work diary of his times on the night shift. Here is one random page.
11:55 - Arrived at work to find Carina subbing for Julia. Seems no one can find her, although one of her friends said something about a bachelorette party in Reno. We’re hoping she’s not dead and/or in prison. I don’t tell Carina, but I know there’s worse things.
12:08 - First creature of the night. A vampire woman who bought Gatorade and Twinkies and asked me if there was anyone good to eat around here. I didn’t know what to say, so I just pointed her towards the McDonald’s.
12:37 - A zombie came in, one that seemed clumsier than most, and his arm just fell off! Oh my god it was so gross! He just bumped into a shelf after getting his burritos, and there was this wet popping noise, and his right arm just hit the floor. So sick! I know we’re supposed to act like it’s nothing so we don’t embarrass the customers, but that caught me off guard. The zombie didn’t notice - me being grossed out, and his arm coming off. I guess zombies don’t feel anything.
12:40 - Cleaned up the arm. I wore rubber gloves and put it in a thick garbage bag, but it was so sick I felt like bathing in Purell. Put it in the Dumpster and hoped the garbage men didn’t notice it.
12:42 - Oh holy crap - if the werewolves get in the Dumpster, they won’t eat it, will they? Now I’m wondering if werewolves can become zombies or vice versa. If they did, how could you tell? I’m going to have to ask Colin,
1:46 - Two lizard men came in arguing, in their language. I can’t understand a bit of it - it sounds like two frogs trying to imitate bird sounds. I’m guessing they’re arguing because of their wild gesticulating. Flailing arms, swishing tails. The funny thing is, it’s almost soothing, like a nature sounds recording.
2:04 - Colin arrived early, and as it turns out, he can speak lizard. Apparently they’re arguing because one of them was keeping a brood nest (?) with someone else and hadn’t mentioned it. When they realized Colin was interpreting, they gave him a really dirty look, bought a bag of chips, and left. (They didn’t take their change, leaving me $2.68 cents in mad money.)
2:35 - 3:17 - Fooling around with Colin.
3:19 - Colin answers my questions. Apparently werewolves can’t become zombies or vice versa; they pretty much have just the one thing. He gave me this look like I was the idiot, but how the hell was I supposed to know? Just about everything I know about vampires is wrong, according to him.
3:28 - The amount of trash in the parking lot indicates the werewolves have gotten into the Dumpster again. At least I don’t have to worry about zombie werewolves.
3:39 - 3:50 - Werewolf chasing.
4:12 - The female vampire returns. She buys some dental floss, and tells me next time I should recommend somewhere else, as McDonald’s people were “too salty.“ Duly noted.
5:53 - Jorge shows up to take over the morning shift. He tells me somebody dumped a fake arm near the ice machine. He said it was really gnarly looking, and maybe we should save it for Halloween. Werewolves.
Blurb from Pretty Monsters:
Josh knew the night shift at the Quik-Mart would be full of freaks and geeks—and that was before the hell portal opened in the parking lot. Still, he likes to think he can roll with things. Sure, the zombies make a mess sometimes, but at least they never reach for anything more threatening than frozen burritos.
Besides, it’s not all lizard-monsters and the walking dead. There’s also the mysterious hottie with the sly red lips and a taste for sweets.
Josh has had the hots for Hot Guy since the moment he laid eyes on him, and it seems Hot Guy might be sweet on Josh too. Now if only Josh could figure out whether that’s a good thing, a bad thing, or something in between. After all, with a hell vortex just a stone’s throw away, Josh has learned to take nothing at face value—even if it’s a very, very pretty face.
This title is #1 of the Josh of the Damned series.
Read an excerpt and purchase Pretty Monsters
Blurb from Peek-A-Boo:
As night-shift clerk at the go-to Quik-Mart for monsters with the munchies, Josh Caplan believes he’s seen it all. Battling lizard men, werewolves chasing cars in the parking lot . . . nothing fazes Josh anymore.
Or so he thinks, at least, until a yeti with poor communication skills drops a dead skunk on the checkout counter. Josh can’t figure what a living, breathing shag carpet wants with him, or why it won’t leave him alone no matter how hard he ignores it. But hey, at least it seems harmless . . . if perhaps a little slow on the draw.
But Sasquatch is plenty fast when two of Josh’s human customers try to out-monster the monsters. Times are strange when creatures from the hell portal save the day, but in the protective hands of a lovesick yeti and a sexy vampire boyfriend, Josh realizes that maybe his new normal isn’t so bad after all.
Read an excerpt and purchase Peek-A-Boo
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