Article & Competition - Storm Grant

Thanks so much for having me here today.

Thanks, again, for posting my interview back in November. At that time, I had only one book out from Riptide Publishing, the funny vampire/dentist story, SUCKS & BLOWS. Today I’m delighted to announce FEW ARE CHOSEN is now available.

Although it’s my second book with Riptide, it’s very much a first for me: my first YA and my first interracial romance. Here’s the one-sentence blurb: Sparks fly between virgin teenage demon hunters when the Chosen One turns out to be...  the Chosen Two?

Check out the awesome cover:

Usually, I like to talk about my favourite subject—writing—but today I thought I’d talk about what not to write. It’s targeted more toward traditional romances, but I’m pretty sure all your readers can appreciate the sentiment.

The Ten Commandments of Mediocre Writing

By Gina “Storm” Grant

And the Disciple of the Mightiest of the Muses did descend from the heavens—or possibly Mount Olympus, Asgard, New York, or the Scottish Highlands, depending upon thy novel's pantheon or setting—and did present two tablets (an Apple iPad and a Blackberry Playbook), saying unto those who toil at keyboards, with pencils, or upon smartphones, that from this day forward thou shalt treat the following commandments as divine inspiration and follow these precepts to the letter.

One Thou shalt begin all novels with thy heroine awakening and dwelling upon her life and her lack of future prospects. Thou shalt create great reader empathy if she be aware of her loneliness.

Two Thy heroine shall, at the earliest opportunity, reflect at length upon her own countenance in any available reflective surface. Her mouth shall be too generous, her nose too cute and upturned, her long hair too wavy, her eyes too cat-like, her cheekbones too defined, her breasts too large and her waist too small, her hips too curvy and her legs too long. She shall remark despairingly upon these shortcomings in soft, breathy tones, or a low, husky voice.

Three Thy heroine needeth only one brief first glance at thy hero, and no matter how uncouth or cruel he may seem, she shall see past his flaws and knoweth that he can be saved by the love of a good woman and also get for her a really big diamond engagement ring.

Four Thy heroine shall have a quirky best friend, either gay (if he be male) or overweight (if she be female), but never both.

Five Should thy heroine awaken to discover a strange man in her dimly lit bedroom, she shall not be so frightened that she does not admire his manly form which shall cause a stirring of lust in her loins.

Six Should thy heroine arrive at her home to find the door ajar, she shall not use her cell phone to summon the police and await their arrival. Nay, she shall enter the premises unarmed save for the words, "Hello? Is anybody there?" because all malefactors are compelled by those magic words to announce, "Run! ’Tis I, thy evil stalker ex, come to kill thee.”

Seven Should thy heroine be fleeing for her life and such flight taketh her into a room she hath not seen before, even the most fleeting glance shall allow her to describe the room's decor in detail, especially the richness of the drapes.

Eight Thou shalt not suffer any noun to go unmodified, nor shall any verb want for an adverb. Wherever possible, thou shalt modify adjectives with the adverbs “very” or “extremely”.

Nine Thou shalt describe persons, places, and other items in great detail though they have no true bearing upon thy story as they shall be deemed to addeth colour. Also, thou shalt insert large portions of backstory into thy opening chapter and include ALL research within thy novel.

Ten Thou shalt consider every word, even unto the smallest, to be sacred and steel thyself against the temptation to edit that may be held out to thee by false prophets of grammar, character motivation, and story structure.

And one final bonus commandment:  Immediately upon completion of thy first draft, thou shalt prepare an email addressed “Dear Agent,” and send it far and wide throughout the land with thy wondrous novel attached.

BLURB:

FEW ARE CHOSEN by Storm Grant

Sparks fly between virgin teenage demon hunters when the Chosen One turns out to be… the Chosen Two?

Apprentice warrior Blake St. Blake is the Chosen One, raised by an ancient order to defend the world against evil. Well, maybe not the whole world, but at least his neighborhood in downtown Detroit.

When a dreaded reflux demon is sighted in a local cemetery, Blake is sent off to his very first battle, armed with his sword, his super-senses, his black leather duster, and a few well-rehearsed one-liners.

But another Chosen One gets in Blake’s way—an apprentice wizard named Shadow. While the boys argue about who’s the more chosen of the two, the demon escapes.

Blake wants to be angry, but it turns out he and Shadow have a lot in common. Besides, Shadow’s pretty cute, and Blake can’t help but think that the wizard’s skills (and hands and lips and other bits) might make the perfect complement to his. Blake and Shadow are brave enough to challenge the reflux demon in a second battle, but will they have the courage to tell each other how they feel?

Title Details

Publisher: Riptide Publishing

ISBN: 978-1-937551-22-3

eBook release: Feb 20 2012

eBook formats: pdf, mobi, html, epub

Word count: ~12,000

Page count: ~40

Heat Wave: On-screen, mildly explicit love scenes

Type: Standalone

eBook $2.99  

Contest:

Play The Name Game for FEW IS CHOSEN and win a copy of ALL THREE of these entertaining books from Storm Grant’s backlist: Gym Dandy, Shift Happens, and Tart and Soul. (Two full-length novels and a novella!)

1. What is Shadow’s real first name? ___  ___  ___  ___

2. What is Shadow’s mentor’s first name? ___  ___  ___  ___  ___

3. What is the name of the Order that raised and trained Blake? The Order of the ___  ___  ___  ___

How to enter:

DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS! Instead, to qualify:

1. Email your answers to the three questions, above, to storm.grant@gmail.com.

2.  Then post a comment to this blog stating that you’ve emailed your entry.

You may enter once for each stop on the blog tour, thereby increasing your chances of being the grand prize winner!

One grand prize winner will be selected March 5^th.

Blog tour, details here.

Storm Grant Bio: Storm Grant is a writer of short and long tales, her work spanning both genres and genders. Storm's stories offer titillation and merriment, and in a few cases, horror. In the last few years, she’s published with MLR, Torquere, Phaze, Blood Bound Books, eXessica, Amber Quill, and Riptide Publishing.

Storm Grant (also writing as Gina X. Grant)

Email / Website / Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads